Uni-fication No Simple Task

by Martha Wright

Ryan Guerra, an advertising major at USC, wants the world to know that he's a unie-ich.

Unie-ich, of course, merely is a term to describe proponents of Guerr's original name for the first decade of the next millennium: The Unies.

"Everyone's stuck on the millennium," Guerra said. "After the first year, we'll need to have a way to talk about the decade as a whole." Guerra was clobbered by inspiration when he saw an article describing the nameless decades of years ending in 00-09 and 10-19. Instead of offering a solution to this quandary, the article merely asked the quesiton.

It was then that Guerra found his calling. In "like three minutes," a phrase was born.

"When I look at life and look at what I'm supposed to do, this has just been something tha't been perfect," Guerra said. "I know what I want to do. I want to name the decade."

Guerra, a bartender at Hops in Harbison, has traveled to the ends of the Earth to shout his noble truth - or at least he's been to New York City.

Earlier this year, Guerra printed up T-shirts and handed them out on the streets - he even got one in the hands of MTV's Carson Daly. Daly said he would pass it on to the wardrobe people.

Guerra hustled to get his term trademarked in South Carolina, and a national registry of "The Unies" is forthcoming. Guerra treademarked "The Decies" to refer to years 2010-2019.

It's been a long haul for "The Unies" to join the ranks of other famous neologisms, but like "normalcy," "glasnost" and "mad props," Guerra hopes the phrase will wrangle its way into the vernacular. Other suggestions for the new decade's name leave him cold. 

The Two-Thousands? "That's the whole new millennium. This is just 10 years."

Double-Zeroes? "Okay, that's only the first year."

2Ks? "A spin-off on Y2K. All that is is a different way to say 2000."

The Millennios? "Sounds like Cheerios."

The Aughts? "That means it's all zeros, when there's only one zero. How are numbers zero?"

The Nothings? "It can't be nothing. Something's going to happen, and some number will be there."

"The Noughts" is the major competitor for "The Unies" in the race to name the decade. According to Guerra, Oxford University Press popularized "The Noughts" because that's reportedly what people called the first decade of the 1900s. But with Guerra, this historical claim doesn't wash.

"Personally, I don't want to give anyone in the past recognition," said Guerra. "The past's name kind of sucks."

Guerra has marketed his maxim to advertising firms, who showed interest. Some asked for $1,000 a month to help it get off the ground, but Guerra declined, saying his catch phrase shouldn't be a cash phrase.

"I don't know how important it is to make money or to just to name the decade," Guerra said. "I would choose to name the decade."

He doesn't deny that there's a selling point about it, however. On his Unies Webshrine (http://www.theunies.com), there's a place to order T-shirts.

"The Unies" could become the phrase for more than delineating time. Guerra touts the use of "The Unies" to describe low temperatures, low bank accounts and low grades. But could the craze swell out of control? "I really don't know the potential," Guerra said. "All I know is I'm busting my butt doing it."

So far, "The Unies" has attracted a lot of local attention. Guerra has been interviewed on TV twice, on the radio twice and in The State once. In the fight for unie-fication, Guerra has acknowledged that he can't do it alone - acceptance in national media markets is the final step in Unies assimilation. 

Guerra said that, while "The Unies" is slow to obtain widespread popularity, reactions havebeen overwhelmingly positive. 

"It's nice when people see the vision or my tenacity or just the potential," he said. "I know something's going to happen becuase I want it so bad, I can just see it. [The Unies] has so much life to it. I just think it's awesome."